Sleep? Yeah right
by Opalora
Summary: All he wanted was a little shut eye.
1. Sleep? Yeah Right

Jayne pulled his hat over his head and rolled over. He couldn't sleep for the crying in the next bunk. He grunted and tried to ignore it but he couldn't. He sat up and pulled on his shirt and stomped out of his bunk.

"Where the gorram hell is that girl?" He muttered. He could hear music coming from her bunk and a few of her giggles. He walked to Kaylee's bunk and was about to knock loudly on the door when he heard Simons voice.

"You are so pretty when you're drunk." Simon said slurring his words. He heard Kaylee giggle and Jayne sighed. Jayne slapped his forehead and looked around. Inara was with a client and Mal had taken Zoe for a night on the town.

He cursed under his breath. Zoe should've known better than to leave Kaylee to Babysit. He himself had refused to go out with the hope he would catch a few extra z's. He sighed and realised it wasn't going to happen without him having to something about the crying.

Jayne turned to Zoes' bunk and climbed down.

The crying was horrible, and he knew meant one thing. As he approached the crib he could smell the kids diaper and he cringed. Part of him wanted to spoil Kaylees good time, but he knew he couldn't do that. The poor mechanic had few things to be happy about of late and a few stolen moments with the doc was something he wasn't about to ruin. He steeled himself and picked up the crying baby.

The kid definitely had Washs' eyes and he could tell by the dark hair sprouting on its head that it was going to have Zoes curls.

"Come on Kid, lets get you cleaned up." He said with a note of displeasure. The kid had stopped crying and was staring at Jayne with wide eyes. Jayne grabbed the diaper bag from the floor by the crib and climbed out of the bunk. He walked to the dining room and pulled a small blanket from the bag and laid it out.

It had been many years since he had changed a diaper and he never thought he would have to do it again; until at least he had his own kids. He smiled at the concept of having children. He was getting older and though the thought of quitting his job was hardly going to happen any time soon, the thought of having a wife and a few kids didn't sound half bad.

He pulled out a clean diaper and set it on the table beside the kid. He undid the dirty one and took a deep breath and held it as he pulled it off. He rolled it up and wrapped it up and threw it aside. The little girl in front of him gurgled and he cracked a smile; such a cute thing. He took the baby wipes from the bag and cleaned her up.

"You remind me of my sisters." he said to her. "Damn cute, and I also changed them too when my Ma and Pa were busy. Musta done it a hundred times, but if there is one thing you never get used to is the smell." He said wrinkling his nose. He flung some baby powder on her and put on the clean diaper. "But this is between you and me kid. Don't want the others thinkin' I've done and gone soft on 'em. I'll tell Mal and Zoe that little Kaylee changed you, 'cause she's got herself drunk enough that she won't remember." The baby smiled and Jayne picked her back up and was about to take her back to her crib when she started to cry again.

"Oh gorram it, you ain't hungry too?" He said. He went to the chiller and saw a couple of bottles of Zoes' milk sitting in the fridge. "Kaylee you owe me big time for this." He said. He picked up one of the bottles and placed it on the bench. He pulled out a pot from the cupboard and put it on the stove. The kid was whining in his ear and he was too tired to lose his patience and give up, and he couldn't just let the kid starve because Kaylee broke her hundred thousand promises to Zoe. He put water in the pot and began to warm it. He placed the bottle of milk in the pot and waited. He bounced slightly trying to rock the baby to silence.

He pulled the bottle from the pot and tested it on his arm. He sighed and turned off the stove, it was the right temperature. He was somewhat glad he had spent so many years taking care of his sisters otherwise the kid would have sat with a dirty diaper and gone hungry while Everyone else was out having a good time.

Yawning he walked to the sofa in the common area and sat down. He sat the kid on his lap and began to feed her. he looked down at her and smiled. She was awfully cute, despite having Wash for a father. He was kind of sorry that the kid wouldn't ever meet her pa. He supposed if they ever stuck around long enough everyone would tell her how many times he saved their lives. Jayne had to admit Wash was one of, if not the best pilot he had ever flown with, and he had been on a lot of ships over the years.

He watched her as she sucked away on the bottle. He yawned again and wished he was back in his bunk fast asleep as he thought he would be. Kaylee should have known better than to start drinkin' with the doctor, and he wondered where the moonbrain was. She was probably skulking around the bridge or the cargo bay. He hoped she wouldn't find him here with the kid, he was sure he would never live it down. They'd probably start calling him Momma Jayne, and he chuckled. He yawned again, it was kind of funny. He sighed and was suddenly feeling very sleepy. He looked at the kid who looked about as tired as he felt. The bottle was only half way done.


	2. Some things that should not be forgotten

Kaylee stared at Simon who had just finished kissing her and was looking rather pleased with himself. She smiled, he was not the best kisser, but he'd get better. She reasoned he was just out of practice. She suddenly felt like she was forgetting something.

"Do you have this feeling we've forgotten something?" Simon asked. She nodded slowly and suddenly the realisation.

"The Baby!" She shouted. Simons eyes went wide and they both scrambled to their feet and felt a whole lot more sober. They realised the whole ship was silent.

"That's either a good sign, or a very very bad sign." Simon said. They both ran to Zoes bunk and found the crib empty.

"This is not good." Kaylee blurted. "Where is she!"

"How should I know! I was with you the whole time!" Simon said angrily.

"There's no time to get snippy, we need to find her before Mal and Zoe get back." Kaylee said. "We'll get Inara, she'll help us look!"

"What about Jayne? He's an expert tracker!" Simon said.

"You really want to wake Jayne after he went on about finally getting a good night sleep? If we wake him he'll kill you."

"Why me?"

"Well, he wouldn't kill me, Mal would space him." Kaylee said.

"And if he killed me he wouldn't get spaced?" Simon asked indignantly.

"We don't have time to argue we have to find her!" Kaylee said.

"Doesn't Inara have a client?" Simon asked.

"Oh gorram it! We have to spread out and search by ourselves, where could a baby get to? She can't even walk!"

"Do you think she's been kidnapped?" Simon asked.

"By who? The only other person on the ship is River."

"You don't honestly think my sister would steal a baby." Simon said. "She's been much better lately." Kaylee sighed.

"Maybe Zoe came back."

"Honey I'm home!" Mals voice came over the intercom and both their hearts sank.

"I guess not." Simon said. "We have to face them." Kaylee was close to tears. After all her promises to Zoe, they lost the baby. They climbed out of Zoes bunk and Kaylee had an idea.

"I'll wake Jayne and he can look while we stall Zoe and Mal." Kaylee said. Simon nodded and watched Kaylee climb into Jaynes bunk, but the gunhand was not there and fear clutched at her heart. She climbed out and stared at Simon with wide eyes.

"Is he going to help?" Simon asked.

"He's not there." She said. Simons eyes went wide with shock.

"You don't think..."

"No, he can't have, he... We need to tell Mal." They walked to the cargo bay via the bridge and saw Zoe and Mal stumble up through the empty cargo bay. They then heard a shuttle take off nearby.

"That must mean Inara has finished with her client." Kaylee said sadly. Zoe was grinning.

"Well, how was she?" Zoe asked. Kaylee was wringing her hands.

"She was fine!" Simon lied. "Quiet as a mouse, the whole night." Zoe beamed.

"So did Jayne get his beauty sleep? 'Cause he's been lookin' mighty ornery lately." Mal asked.

"I don't know!" Simon said brightly. "But let's get something to eat." Mal grinned.

"I like the way you think Doc." Mal slurred. They walked up the stairs that led up to the engine room. Suddenly Inara's voice came onto the intercom.

"You all better come up to the Common area, because you are going to have to see this to believe it." Inara said. Her voice echoed ominously. Kaylee and Simon both exchanged frightened expressions and the four of them hurried up to the common area. Inara was standing in the doorway. She pressed a finger to her lips.

"What's going on 'Nara?" Kaylee asked.

"I still can't believe what I've seen Kaylee. When you come in, come in quietly." She whispered. They all tiptoed into the common area and looked around. Then Inara Pointed to the sofa and they all stared in disbelief.

Jayne was lying on the sofa fast asleep. His woollen hat was sitting askew on top of his head and his feet dangled off the end of the sofa. He was snoring lightly but the thing that shocked them the most, was not just the empty baby bottle that he was holding in one hand, but the kid was fast asleep on his chest. She was sucking her thumb and lying on her stomach with her head to the side so that she was facing them. Jaynes other arm was curved around her so she wouldn't roll off. She was rising and falling as Jayne breathed in and out, and she looked tiny compared to his massive frame.

None of them could move. It was like the Hero of Canton statue all over again. It was a disconcerting sight as none of them ever thought they would see Jayne with a baby, especially one that looked so content. Zoe was about to reach for her child when Mal stopped her.

"Does anyone have a spare capture, because this is something we don't ever want him to live down." Mal whispered. Zoe was torn, she never really liked Jayne that much, she didn't trust him and she made that known to him on a daily basis, but here he was, holding her own flesh and blood, the only part of her husband she had left and he was looking after her in such gentle way. She found a new respect for Jayne. If he could take care of her only child when she was not around, then he would have her trust.

"Don't be mean Sir." She said with a chuckle.

"That is the cutest thing I've ever seen." Kaylee said. She couldn't keep her eyes off of them, and she vaguely wondered what Simon or Mal would look like with a baby and she couldn't conjure an image for either of them.

Simon stared at the two sleeping people and was trying to figure out how it was possible that the man-ape who loved his guns more than he would ever love a human being could know how to look after a child, but even his keen intellect was struggling.


	3. Some kind of dream

Jayne was dreaming. He could always tell when he was dreaming, because he was always in the same place. He was always home on the farm. He was always standing in the open field on a spring day, watching the clouds roll by. He would always be greeted by a girl who would take his arm and they would stand together. It was the only time he felt at peace with the world in which he lived. For most of his life the woman was faceless and nameless. But now she had a face and he was doomed to only have her beside him in his dreams. As he stood with her dark clouds began to cross the sky and he had the creepifying feeling that he was being watched.

He knew that feeling, someone or something was standing over him as he slept. He began to wake himself up, and slowly the comprehension of his surroundings began to wash over him.

He wasn't in his bunk. He was on the sofa in the common area. The weight on his chest and the bottle in his hand first made him think he had been out whoring again, but he didn't have his usual satisfied feeling nor the headache which accompanied the drinking. He remembered the kid. CHanging her Diaper and feeding her, which explained the bottle in his hand. He hoped that the feeling of being watched was the kid being awake. He opened one eye slowly and hoped to god it was only the kid. Suddenly his eyes fell upon the rest of the crew and his heart dropped into his stomach.

"Rise and shine sleepy head." Mal said. Jaynes eyes shot open. He saw the kid fast asleep on his chest and his heart sank further. He saw the bemused expressions on all their faces. He dropped the bottle and Zoe leaned forward and picked up her daughter. She did not look angry which filled him with relief. "So, how is it you come to be here?" Mal asked. Jayne realised Mal would be another story. Jayne looked at Simon and Kaylee.

"Well, Kaylee was feelin' kind of ill, so I offered to watch the kid while Simon looked her over." Jayne lied. "I have little sisters and a little brother, so I know how to change a diaper and feed 'em, I guess i dozed off." Kaylee and Simon exchanged surprised glances.

"'Sthat all?" Mal asked raising an eyebrow. Jayne nodded. He was sure they all knew he was lying. At least he was sure Kaylee and Simon knew he was lying, but the skeptical look on Inara's face made him think she could see through it as well. He sat up and stretched.

"Now ifn' you all don't mind, I'm gonna go finish off my nap in my bunk." He said standing up and straightening his hat. He walked passed them and towards his bunk. He was so relieved they didn't make fun of him.

He lay down in his bunk and closed his eyes and tried to get a few more hours of sleep before breakfast.

Later, when everyone else had gone to bed; Kaylee left her bunk and walked across the way to Jaynes Bunk.

She climbed down to wake him up. She had to talk to him about covering for her and Simon. He was sleeping without a shirt on and she took a few moments to admire his body before waking him up.

He jolted awake and was about to go for his guns when he realised it was only Kaylee. He rubbed his eyes and yawned.

"What can I do for you little Kaylee?" He asked groggily.

"Why did you cover for me and Simon. You don't even like Simon?" She asked. He yawned again.

"Had to. You really think I was gonna get you in trouble by rattin' out you and the doc? Besides, no-one got hurt." He said. "So there's no need for hard feelin's" He was about to roll over and go back to sleep when she shook him awake again.

"Yeah?" He asked. Kaylee leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks Jayne." She said before walking to the ladder. He saw her look back once before she climbed out. Jayne grinned and closed his eyes and fell back to sleep.

He was standing in the field again, the dark clouds were gone, and the girl walked up to him. This time she kissed him on the cheek before she held onto his arm.


End file.
